BAD-ASS WEIGEL

Bad-ass Catholics are sorely needed in the USA and George Weigel is leading the charge (see recent article here). If we Catholics are to take our rightful place in the conservative milieu in this country we just have to be tougher. We have been making some serious headway with big names like Boehner, convert Newt, and Santorum (Rick, not the other…). Simply put, we have achieved acceptance in the conservative inner circle and we do not want to lose it. Over the years we have convinced them of our tough conservativeness and must do all that we can to keep proper appearances up.

But, as Mr. Weigel points out, for some reason a number of “soft-minded and ill-informed religious leaders and intellectuals” do not quite grasp this point and continue to do whatever they can to ruin everything for us. They go on and on about capital punishment, preferential option for the poor, immigrant rights, just war theory, the formation of unions as a human right, protection of the environment and a host of other ridiculous issues that do nothing to further our cause.

Do these euro-stylish, red-garbed, soft bellied, intellectual flakies have any idea what we are up against here in the US of A? Evangelicals have gun racks on their pick-up trucks. They hold their worship services in sports arenas. Mike Huckabee jams with Ted Nugent and hangs out with Chuck Norris for crying out loud. Do they know how hard it is to compete? Do they know how hard it is to fit in? Do they know how hard it is for us to make George Weigel look tough? Shoot, anytime I see him I feel like punching him in the gut and stealing his wallet.

We used to be so tough! What ever happened to the good old days of the Crusades and the Inquisition? Popes used to kick ass. Medeival popes would have given a plenary indulgence for shooting a Muslim warrior in the eye. And water boarding sounds like a day at the beach compared to the hurt we used to inflict on unbelievers. Anathemas, excommunications, battles, SAINT JAMES THE MOOR SLAYER… now that is bad-ass Catholicism.

If right-wing protestant conservatives ever found out how little Catholic social teachings actually have in common with their own values they would shun as they would shun a gay, illegal immigrant imam. So I’m with Weigel. Let’s tell the clergy, the intellectuals, the pope and whoever else dares to criticize American bad-assism to shut their pie-holes and allow us to enjoy this golden era of Catholic-American conservatism before the protestants see Pope Benedict’s red clogs and all becomes lost.