BILL DONOHUE COUNTING WIENERS

After an unsuccessful two million dollar attempt to shift the blame of priestly sexual deviancy to bellbottom pants, psychedelic rock music and long hair the enablers in the church were incredibly relieved that Congressman Weiner could not keep his wiener off of Twitter. The church could breathe a sigh of relief as a married, non-Christian man was the center of a full blown scandal. With fingers wagging we Catholics could once again look down at unbelieving sinners from our comfortable mountaintops and revel in our righteousness. That is, until David Letterman ruined our blissful reprise. While lambasting Rep. Weiner, Letterman compared the sexual exploits of politicians to none other than those of priests. Well, Bill Donohue of the Catholic League was not laughing. Jokes are supposed to be extremely accurate in order to be funny you see. And thus Mr. Donohue has gone about proving the joke to be tremendously unfunny.

See article here

I for one would be oblivious as how to statistically refute such a vague comparison and am glad that there are minds like Donohues’ representing our faith. He rolled up his sleeves and got down and dirty, down to the nitty gritty of counting… you guessed it, wieners. Luckily Donohue has a list of well known wieners handy for just such occasions. He reamed off a short list of some of the most famous political wieners to ever reach the nightly news. Congressmen, Senators and even Presidents (and their wieners) were singled out and paraded by our consciousness to prove the Letterman slander untrue. But the wiener arithmetic does not end there…

“Regarding priests, 149 of them are responsible for 27 percent of all the alleged cases of abuse over the past half-century—out of a total of 100,000 priests. More important, almost no priests today are the subject of allegations.”

Wow. Bravo Mr. Donohue. I had no idea that 27 percent of the wieners were actually repeat wieners. Unbeknownst to the media, 149 priest wieners have been causing much of the havoc. Though they have been seen multiple times, in all justice they should only be counted once.

Besides the single wiener - multiple appearance phenomenon that Mr. Donohue explained so aptly he also pointed out that thusfar we have not taken into account the age of the wiener (something 7 Eleven could take note of). Thanks to John Jay we know that wieners affected by the worldly philosophies of the 60’s and 70’s should also not be taken into account. These wieners simply did not have the proper formation to deal with being stuck in briefs for more than 12 hours a day.

It’s a dirty job but someone has got to do it. I for one can sleep well at night knowing that the Catholic League and Bill Donohue are hard at work keeping an accurate count of outed Catholic wieners so as to defend those wieners that have been kept faithfully in their package.

McCain Fighting the Good Fight vs Illegals

Senator John McCain recently declared what we have all secretly been thinking. See the background info here:

MCCAIN BLAMES SOME ARIZONA WILDFIRES ON ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

I have long thought that these intruders were the perpetrators our giant forest fires and am glad someone has finally come out and said something about it. Others, seeking to avoid controversy, blame the heat, drought, lightning and other inanimate powers allowing the obvious to escape the front page of the news.

McCain is street-savvy enough to know that these poor Mexicans have no access to modern forms of communication like the cellular phone and must resort to more primitive methods of informing others of their location like the smoke signals of old. But he has left out other ways in which Illegals have been provoking massive fires all along our borders.

Have you ever had a real Mexican salsa? I mean a real homemade jalapeño and habanero stuffed salsa… It’s like liquid fire. One drop sets my entire mouth completely on fire. Salsa smuggling Mexicans, while being pursued by immigration authorities, often have no other option but to discard their sabrosa salsa picante; unfortunately creating a tangy recipe for a forest fire disaster. The Border Patrol now has to carry large containers of milk with them to douse these raging infernos before they get out of control.

What Mexican can go one day without a delicious corn on the cob? Their dependency on this dietary staple drives them to the extreme of cooking the corn in the most unlikely places. Even Illegals on the run must frequently stop to build a fire and roast their favourite delicacy. They often leave the still burning fires behind and flee, elotes in hand, from the Migra.

It is about time politicians began to speak out about how Illegals are ruining our country. Forest fires are only the tip of the sombrero. There are so many other issues one could mention like the pollution of our rivers by women washing their clothes by hand in them. Or the increase of obesity among our citizens due to their tantalizing burritos, tacos, flautas, huaraches, chilaquiles, and the list goes on. Car washes for just $5 is complete madness and is unsustainable. The carwash bubble will pop. You heard it here first.

While Obama roles his rrrr’s in Puerto Rico McCain is fighting the good fight on our borders and I am proud to say I voted for him. Our American bishops should take notice.

ANTI-CATHOLIC FAMILY DESCRIMINATION

I was recently told that there is a large, well organized, international organization that actively discriminates against practising, married, faithful, Catholic men. This heinous organization denies incredible, life altering opportunities to these Catholic men and in a spirit of contempt for them pass them over; opting for Lutheran, Episcopalian, Methodists, Presbyterian, Orthodox and other denominations of Christians for important positions. As a practising, Roman Catholic I was appalled to hear that such discrimination was still allowed this day and age. Catholic men are men like any else. We pray, we love our wives, we work hard, we are intelligent, contributing members of society. A married, Catholic man is Vice President of the United States, Speaker of the House, Senators, Governors, Congressmen, Mayors, C.E.O.s of major corporations. This just cannot be…

“Which group?” I asked furiously. The response shocked me. I expected some large liberal media conglomerate, some shady medical company, some university system bent on destroying traditional values. None of these. If you haven’t figured it out yet, this large, well organized, international organization is the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church. The life altering opportunity is the priesthood.

I know I usual slather sarcasm all over my entire posts like smooth, creamy peanut butter (mmmm… peanut butter…) but this time I will break from precedent and boldly speak my mind on a real beef I have with the Church.

I love the Church; always have. In years past I even vehemently defended the celibate priesthood. But I can no longer wrap my head around what is going on now. Before the recent developments with the Anglican ordinariate I could write off in my own mind the presence of a few “freak” minister converts who, due to pastoral sensitivity, were allowed to pursue the priesthood. But with the droves now entering in I can no longer figure it out. I am personally offended.

What does the Holy See have against us married Catholic men? Why are we so inferior? Why can Byzantine, Maronite, Orthodox, Coptic, Anglican and other protestant married men be accepted as candidates to the Roman Catholic priesthood and not Roman Catholic married men? How did we become the exception? Do we smell bad? How is it that God calls my Lutheran minister neighbour to the priesthood and the Church welcomes the idea with open arms and open minds but if I were to propose my possible calling to the same vocation I would be looked at as if I had two heads?

It just doesn’t make sense to anyone anymore. Someone please explain it to me. It’s not theological. I mean, with the issue of the ordination of women the Church has declared that it is not just a discipline but an actual theological impossibility. Not the case with marriage as is evidenced by the increasing number of married, Latin Rite, Roman Catholic priests. It’s not that they are already priests. The Church does not recognize Anglican ordinations, not to mention protestant ministers that do not even claim ordination. We used to chalk it up to a Western/Eastern thang… not anymore... as far as I know London is west of Rome.

Benny you got some splainin to do. Don’t be hating on us. We’re not that bad. The Church has got some splainin to do. Tell us! Straight up. Why do men from other denominations get a pass and baptized Catholics get snubbed?

OSAMA BIN PRODIGAL

A parish in Florida recently announced that they would pray for the soul of Osama Bin Laden in an upcoming mass. My first instinct was to approve the gesture as a realization of Christ’s exhortations:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. (Mt. 5:43-45)

But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. (Lk 6:27-36)

Forgive me for being tricked. I just figured since Osama Bin Laden was an enemy of the western world that we should pray for him as Christ mentions. But what I didn’t realize was that Osama is in that rare super-enemy category that cannot be shackled by the Gospel precepts. Though a canon lawyer could more accurately describe the characteristics of a super-enemy I am sure that contempt for the USA and the killing of thousands of innocents are among them. Adolf Hitler comes to mind, Sadam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and so on.

A super-enemy does not deserve prayers. There is no forgiveness for super-enemies. If they strike you on the cheek, take away your cloak or ask you for something then you may hunt them down and shoot them in the eyeball. God does not make his sun rise on them nor the rain pour down on them. Just look at all of the floods and droughts in Pakistan. For the super-enemy there is no ring, no fatted calf, no cloak, and no fiesta. And if you are able to hunt that cheek-striking, cloak-stealing S.O.B. down and pump some lead into his brain don’t worry too much over it. Though St. Paul says that love “does not rejoice in evil” (1Cor 13:6)… love does rejoice in the death of super evil-doers. It is like how the angels partied all night long when St. Michael pierced the devil in the eye with his sword and cast him into the sea of fire.

We, as Christians just have to celebrate and be glad because this super-enemy was alive is now dead, was hiding and has now been found! (Lk 15 32)

BAD-ASS WEIGEL

Bad-ass Catholics are sorely needed in the USA and George Weigel is leading the charge (see recent article here). If we Catholics are to take our rightful place in the conservative milieu in this country we just have to be tougher. We have been making some serious headway with big names like Boehner, convert Newt, and Santorum (Rick, not the other…). Simply put, we have achieved acceptance in the conservative inner circle and we do not want to lose it. Over the years we have convinced them of our tough conservativeness and must do all that we can to keep proper appearances up.

But, as Mr. Weigel points out, for some reason a number of “soft-minded and ill-informed religious leaders and intellectuals” do not quite grasp this point and continue to do whatever they can to ruin everything for us. They go on and on about capital punishment, preferential option for the poor, immigrant rights, just war theory, the formation of unions as a human right, protection of the environment and a host of other ridiculous issues that do nothing to further our cause.

Do these euro-stylish, red-garbed, soft bellied, intellectual flakies have any idea what we are up against here in the US of A? Evangelicals have gun racks on their pick-up trucks. They hold their worship services in sports arenas. Mike Huckabee jams with Ted Nugent and hangs out with Chuck Norris for crying out loud. Do they know how hard it is to compete? Do they know how hard it is to fit in? Do they know how hard it is for us to make George Weigel look tough? Shoot, anytime I see him I feel like punching him in the gut and stealing his wallet.

We used to be so tough! What ever happened to the good old days of the Crusades and the Inquisition? Popes used to kick ass. Medeival popes would have given a plenary indulgence for shooting a Muslim warrior in the eye. And water boarding sounds like a day at the beach compared to the hurt we used to inflict on unbelievers. Anathemas, excommunications, battles, SAINT JAMES THE MOOR SLAYER… now that is bad-ass Catholicism.

If right-wing protestant conservatives ever found out how little Catholic social teachings actually have in common with their own values they would shun as they would shun a gay, illegal immigrant imam. So I’m with Weigel. Let’s tell the clergy, the intellectuals, the pope and whoever else dares to criticize American bad-assism to shut their pie-holes and allow us to enjoy this golden era of Catholic-American conservatism before the protestants see Pope Benedict’s red clogs and all becomes lost.

Young, Black, Catholic Women with PhDs equals Abortion

I was recently very enlightened by reading the somewhat controversial article written by Dr. John Zmirak for Crisis Magazine’s Politics Blog. It convicted me of being something that I had always fought against; namely abortion. I had always considered myself to be staunchly pro-life until I read Amnesty Equals Abortion. Instead of rehashing the whole article I have decided to boil his whole argument down to a simple syllogism. Luckily I was blessed to have taken Logic 101 in university and am able to accomplish this.

1st Premise: Anyone who supports the granting of citizenship (and the right to vote) to a group that traditionally votes for Democrats is not pro-life.

2nd Premise: Latin American Immigrants traditionally vote for Democrats.

Conclusion: Anyone who supports granting citizenship to Latin American Immigrants is not pro-life.


Now, following the logic of this syllogism I was able to single out other groups who will no longer have my support as voting citizens in the USA. They include but are not limited to:

African Americans
Asians
Native Americans
Women
Catholics
Jews
Muslims
Non-Christians in general
Post-Graduate degree holders
Those under the age of 30
Those with an income of less than $50,000 per year
Those who are non-military

Hence the title of this article… There are not many left to vote but I am sure that the older, less educated, rich, white, protestant, military personnel will do a fine job guiding our country’s future!

BOEHNER: CHAMPION OF CATHOLIC SOCIAL TEACHING

It is such a relief to have a true Catholic Speaker of the House now serving our country and in the spotlight. But that does not mean that controversy has been completely quelled. As Mr. Boehner prepares for his commencement address and reception of the honorary doctorate from the Catholic University of America some Catholics are not as chipper as you would expect them to be. This is due to the simple fact that they do not truly understand the hierarchy in Catholic social teaching. Lemme explain.

Abortion is at the top of the list. In fact it is at the top, separated from the list completely in an all important list of one. It is the issue that trumps all other issues. It is like a giant tintinnabulum that overshadows all other teachings rendering them obsolete. All ordinances, encyclicals, bulls, catechisms, promulgations and Gospel exhortations bow down before the might of the issue of abortion. Pope Benedict himself said something similar to this before he was pope, though I do not have the exact quote at hand.

The Church, you see, is hierarchical. The Pope is head of the Church, Latin is the head of all languages, the man is the head of the woman and abortion is the head of morality. The body of Catholic moral teaching is a conglomerate of minor issues that are not essential to the true Catholic identity. A Catholic can, in good conscience, pry an illegal Mexican immigrant from his family and waterboard him in order to gather reconnaissance to bring down unions and end health care for the poor as long as he does not support abortion. Boehner understands this and implements it into his political life. He knows that Christ’s desire was for the poor to always be with us and that they are blessed who do not have access to health care. He realizes that taxes are stealing. He realizes that it is hard for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven and that they need all of the help that they can get.

Some say that this is “cafeteria Catholicism”… well, maybe it is. But who can possibly choose everything the cafeteria has to offer anyways? If Catholicism is a cafeteria I prefer to chow down on the steak and potatoes of abortion rather than piddle around with the ketchup packets of social justice any day of the week, except Fridays of course.

Why Catholic Women Should Not Wear Running Shoes

Many miles of blogspot comboxery has been used in the attempt to anathemize or defend Catholic women’s use of pants. While I applaud these efforts I feel that another pressing issue in the area of female apparel has been sorely neglected; namely, the running shoe. The women’s running shoe is at the heart of the voracious modernist agenda which seeks to destroy our once pristine, Latin worshipping society.

First of all, we must ponder what women would pretend to do in running shoes. Running, though more common among suburban women these days, is not a feminine activity. It is heinously immodest at best and leads to death. Death you say? Yes, death! Women must be sensitive to the weakness of their male counterparts. By jogging around the neighbourhood, men are very easily distracted from driving and keeping their eyes on the road. Sexy jogging movements are most definitely un-Catholic and impure.

Running shoes are at the heart of the anti-life agenda. What woman with 15 children has time to jog around the block in the morning and evening? How can a pregnant woman jog? Running shoes have done more to promote birth control than Planned Parenthood.

But, wait! There are more purity issues! Running shoes and jogging brings with them a host of un-Catholic, impure accessories. Not to open up the heated skirt/pants debate but when was the last time you saw a woman jogging in a long skirt? T-shirts, shorts, headbands, wristbands, watches and a host of other male articles of clothing cooperates with the modernist agenda of the homogenization of the sexes. They are the beginning of a slippery slope that has led to the WNBA and the popularity of the Ellen Degeneres Show.

While some diligent Catholic theologians have done a marvellous job of exposing the Protestantness of fast food restaurants they have simply dropped the ball when it comes to the running shoe. Catholics don’t run… we walk, slowly. And the slower we walk the more pius and holy we seem to be. While other modernist non-profit causes implement the glaringly anti-Catholic marathon to increase knowledge of their activities the Catholic Church maintains her time honoured tradition of the procession.

Getting fit is communist anyways as Rush Limbaugh has pointed out concerning Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative. We are a festive bunch who celebrate the virtues of our holy people by large meals and desserts. We have our own diets worked into the liturgical calendar (Advent and Lent).

We are a festive, procession people who wish to keep the sexes looking different. While jogging has no place in Catholic culture, women should be especially on guard. This new-fangled type of foot-ware might jog you right into your nearest protestant church, or, worse yet, gym.

Language and the Conservative American Catholic

Well, Cinco de Mayo has come and gone and my margarita headache has immobilized me yet another year. In the process of expelling this sweet nectar from my system I often ponder on language and its importance in the fight for conservative values. Don’t take my margarita madness for sympathy though. America is English; speaking that is, not British. The term should really be ‘American English’ or simply ‘American’ so as to distinguish it from the European counterpart. American English is the greatest of all of the spoken tongues as is evidenced by its popularity throughout the world. It is part of the value system that our founding fathers established for us and that has been passed down to us up until today. From the golden coast of California to the sunshine coast of Florida, from the Bayeux of Louisiana up to the Motor City of Detroit, our heritage is the glorious English language. The illegal invasion of Mexicans into our most cherished American English states (California, Texas, Florida, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Colorado, etc.) is an affront to our American heritage. American should be the language spoken on our hallowed territory at all times, except in worship, where we should speak Latin. Latin you see is the heavenly language spoken by the angels and by Christ himself (see The Passion by Mel Gisbson). Its sacredness comes from the fact that it is a dead language. The true scriptures come from the Latin Vulgate, which contains the original Catholic texts of the Holy Book. If the Latin Vulgate cannot be read by the faithful then the Douay-Rheims English version should be used. Its English is even more sacred due to its rare spellings and no longer used vocabulary. It is not a dead language, but a dead way of speaking, which makes it more reverent. True Catholic Americans worship in Latin as did our Catholic fathers and grandfathers. The Latin pronunciation in America carries a different accent than in the rest of the world; an American accent you could say, giving it its own particular American flavour. It is an American Latin, you could say. America is a land of traditions, language being one of our greatest treasures. In closing it could be said that the true conservative Catholics are English and Latin Americans who revere English above all else, except dead Latin and half-dead English.

Why Catholics Should Support all Religions (Yes even Islam) Desirous of Worshiping God !

Pope sees 'systematic denial' of religious freedom looming :: Catholic News Agency (CNA)

JOHN PAUL II WORKS CANONIZATION MIRACLE - OSAMA BIN LADEN

It all began at the end… of the Prince William – Kate Middleton wedding. Members of the media were in chaos. Come Monday there would be nothing to report… The news had been left behind for so long, with the media’s efforts so squarely focused on this non-news event that, like any great bender, it all came crashing down the next morning. The royal wedding hangover was in full effect on Sunday as media correspondents scrambled frantically for something to grasp to. With all hope lost they turned to the events being carried out in the eternal city. The Catholic Church is always a great source of news when there is nothing else to report on. They sought to tap the goldmine once again. But as the solemn mass proceeded in an aura of peace and fellowship, hearts and minds changed. Crisis turned to a religious moment. The media turned to prayer imploring the intercession of Blessed John Paul II for something; some tidbit of news that they can throw up quickly on their programs as they await the next exploitable event. The conversion of these hardened hearts moved the newest blessed and he heard their prayers and he delivered in a way that no one foresaw. While some attempt to connect the Catholic feast day dots to create a super hyper spiritual Marian conspiracy mega-event (beatification, Divine Mercy, Mary, Queen of Heaven, month of May, Sunday, stars aligned, etc…) some may never understand the gravity of the real miracle that took place yesterday: A Grinch-like heart expansion in the interior of the representatives of the media caught the eye of the recently beatified Pontiff and he delivered.

Top Ten Reasons Why John Paul II was not a conservative

With all of this talk of how John Paul II was an “ultra-conservative” in the media real conservatives were becoming increasingly offended… they just know better than that and know how to spot an euro-trendy puff pastry when they see one. That’s why I’ve come up with the Top 10 Reasons why a good freedom-loving, flag-waving conservative American should not celebrate JP II’s beatification:

10. He supports illegal Mexican immigrants from Central and South America and their illegal activities within our borders:

Man has the right to leave his native land for various motives-and also the right to return-in order to seek better conditions of life in another country…It is obvious that the question of just legislation enters into the context of the present considerations, especially from the point of view of these rights…As regards the work relationship, the same criteria should be applied to immigrant workers as to all other workers in the society concerned. The value of work should be measured by the same standard and not according to the difference in nationality, religion or race. For even greater reason the situation of constraint in which the emigrant may find himself should not be exploited. (Laborem Exercens 23)

9. He also supports economy-destroying, blood-sucking democrat-backed unions:

All these rights, together with the need for the workers themselves to secure them, give rise to yet another right: the right of association, that is to form associations for the purpose of defending the vital interests of those employed in the various professions. These associations are called labour or trade unions… Their task is to defend the existential interests of workers in all sectors in which their rights are concerned. The experience of history teaches that organizations of this type are an indispensable element of social life, especially in modern industrialized societies. (Laborem exercens 20)

Here we find a wide range of opportunities for commitment and effort in the name of justice on the part of trade unions and other workers' organizations. These defend workers' rights and protect their interests as persons, while fulfilling a vital cultural role, so as to enable workers to participate more fully and honourably in the life of their nation and to assist them along the path of development.
(Centesimus Annus 35)

8. He opposed the invasion of Iraq


7. He was liturgically slovenly: Big masses that accommodated lots of people, no excommunications for liturgical abusers, masses in the forests on canoes for youth groups, large hosts, colourful vestments, amongst other atrocities… need I go on?


6. He was an environmentalist:

In our day, there is a growing awareness that world peace is threatened not only by the arms race, regional conflicts and continued injustices among peoples and nations, but also by a lack of due respect for nature, by the plundering of natural resources and by a progressive decline in the quality of life. The sense of precariousness and insecurity that such a situation engenders is a seedbed for collective selfishness, disregard for others and dishonesty…The most profound and serious indication of the moral implications underlying the ecological problem is the lack of respect for life evident in many patterns of environmental pollution. Often, the interests of production prevail over concern for the dignity of workers, while economic interests take priority over the good of individuals and even entire peoples. In these cases, pollution or environmental destruction is the result of an unnatural and reductionist vision which at times leads to a genuine contempt for man.(Adress given on Jan 1st, 1990)

5. He was a feminist. He said it himself remember!!! “Io sono il Papa feminista” I am the feminist pope!!! Just check out Mulieris Dignitatem for crying out loud. He goes on and on about “the dignity of women”.

4. He was not a true capitalist:

Further consideration of this question should confirm our conviction of the priority of human labour over what in the course of time we have grown accustomed to calling capital… This truth, which is part of the abiding heritage of the Church's teaching, must always be emphasized with reference to the question of the labour system and with regard to the whole socioeconomic system. We must emphasize and give prominence to the primacy of man in the production process, the primacy of man over things. Everything contained in the concept of capital in the strict sense is only a collection of things. Man, as the subject of work, and independently of the work that he does-man alone is a person. This truth has important and decisive consequences. (Laborem Exercens 12)

the Church teaches that the possession of material goods is not an absolute right, and that its limits are inscribed in its very nature as a human right. (Centesimus Annus 30)

Many other people, while not completely marginalized, live in situations in which the struggle for a bare minimum is uppermost. These are situations in which the rules of the earliest period of capitalism still flourish in conditions of "ruthlessness" in no way inferior to the darkest moments of the first phase of industrialization. In other cases the land is still the central element in the economic process, but those who cultivate it are excluded from ownership and are reduced to a state of quasi-servitude.71 In these cases, it is still possible today, as in the days of Rerum novarum, to speak of inhuman exploitation. In spite of the great changes which have taken place in the more advanced societies, the human inadequacies of capitalism and the resulting domination of things over people are far from disappearing. In fact, for the poor, to the lack of material goods has been added a lack of knowledge and training which prevents them from escaping their state of humiliating subjection. (C.A. 33)

In this sense, it is right to speak of a struggle against an economic system, if the latter is understood as a method of upholding the absolute predominance of capital, the possession of the means of production and of the land, in contrast to the free and personal nature of human work. (C.A. 35)

3. He spoke English with a foreign accent. ‘Nuf said.

2. He was a friend of Islam.

1. He just wasn’t an American. Some is, some aint… Just the way the cards fall pops.

Pastor of Souls

If you haven't yet heard the story of Fr. Kevin Gray check it out here.
A little recap just for those working on sloth:


A Roman Catholic priest from Waterbury who stole more than $1 million in church money and spent it on male escorts, Armani clothes and nights out at gay bars has been sentenced to three years in prison.

After The Rev. Kevin Gray serves his time, he might be able to continue serving as a priest, according to the Archdiocese of Hartford.

"Fr. Kevin Gray’s plea demonstrates that he is fully aware and responsible for the severity of his wrongdoing, and is repentant," the archdiocese said in a release. "After he completes his sentence, if devoted to his priestly commitment, he will be eligible to continue serving as a priest, but will never be placed in a position where he will manage finances."

Gray's attorney called many of the charges against his client overblown.

Exactly what I was thinking! I mean, come on, he's no Fr. Pfleger. Now there's a priest that is truly "not able to pastor a Catholic parish". Cardinal George is the man! Flexing his muscle and weeding out the real wolves in sheep's clothing of our American church. No more of the rediculous "education in the African American community, control of gun violence (and) service to the poor in the name of Christ"... As His Emminence airs out this renegade priest's dirty laundry for all to see. Fr. Pfleger could do us all a favor and take a quick peek at a few pages of Fr. Gray's playbook to stay in the active ministry game.

Fr. Pfleger's first mistake was staying so long at St. Sabina's in the first place. There's no way you will ever achieve any type of status in Chicago's gay clubbing community with the measly chump change that the weekly collection basket brings in on an average Sunday at an inner-city parish. Go west young priest! Look to the suburbs and there you will find the suppliers of male escorts and Armani suits you need to make it as a pastor of souls. The archdiocese isn't asking for much... just a little initiative.

The second lesson Fr. Pfleger can learn from Fr. Gray concerns social justice strategies; specifically with the whole "gun control" deal. Hey Pfleg, give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach him how to fish he eats for the rest of his life. Your activism has to be sustainable. You can't just get rid of guns and call it case closed. You have to give violent criminals a viable way out of their crime sprees. That is where Fr. Gray's philosophy of non-violence triumphs. Instead of knocking off gas stations, gangbangers can simply dip their hands into the collection baskets on Sundays, initiate fake collections for St. Jude's or imitate Salvation Army volunteers at Christmas time. No guns necessary.

But, what's a Cardinal Archbishop to do? Well, he could take a sip from the overflowing cup of wisdom of Archbishop Mansell over in Hartford. You see... when Fr. Gray is done serving his 3 year sentence and 3 years of probation, Mansell has the foresight to not place him "in a position where he will manage finances." Simply place these volatile priests far from the vices that tempt them so. In Fr. Phleger's case it would have to be a place where there are no African Americans, guns or poor to serve... hmmm... WAIT! I GOT IT!!!! Isn't there a recent opening in a parish in the Archdiocese of Hartford?

Welcome to Omnibus Crazybus!!!

Welcome to Omnibus Crazybus! I hope that what I share here will be something at least slightly unique. I hope that readers benefit from the words contained herein and grow in their journey as followers of Christ, members of His body. I remember a friend asking me once: “What must one do to be a good Catholic?” He was a convert from evangelicalism you see and a “good evangelical” was easy to define: 1) don’t drink 2) don’t smoke 3) don’t gamble and 4) read your Bible. He had not yet arrived at a simple formula for righteousness as a member of the Catholic Church though. Catholic piety is not so easy to encapsulate and master. I have cherished that question and pondered it in my heart ever since. There are so many landmines to dodge in Catholicism; craziness that seeks to draw us away from the essential, simple Gospel message of Jesus Christ. This blog is one man’s attempt to sift through all the craziness that surrounds him so as to continue along the narrow path to salvation. This for me does not mean ignoring the craziness… just the opposite. There seems to be a tendency in the Church to close our eyes and pray that the craziness will just eventually go away. This strategy does not seem to be working. Let’s try a new strategy. Let’s expose it, analyze it and deal with it, using the God-given gifts of reason and common sense to eradicate it from our midst.